Wednesday, 5 April 2017

SPRING BIG GAME 2017 - THE COUNTY CUP (PART 1)

And from all corners of Herefordshire (and in some cases, well beyond), they gathered at the Hereford Golf Course (otherwise known as the Burley Gate Village Hall). Twelve players. Three tables. One County Cup. A watching world. A befuddled Sir Alan McGuffin and his confused Club Committee. The Spring Big Game 2017 (colloquially known as "The April Fools Day Massacre") was finally on....and the action about to get explosive

Referee Roo had produced a Programme and Rules Playsheet.
Nothing but the best for those ready to risk all for the County Cup.
Referee Clive had produced the supremely valuable County Cup
(and Winner's Medal, oh yes!)

Tim kindly loaned a superb scratchbuilt Clubhouse complex (where Nick's palm trees peep out to the right)
...and where Sir Alan McGuffin and his confused Committee anxiously waited by the 18th Green.
On the Lower Course, six challengers abandoned their golf clubs and shouldered a mixture of rifles, shotguns, sub machine guns - and more. Tank engines were revved, shells slotted home into their breeches, last cigarettes were puffed anxiously...

The "Lower Course" (Table One) looking south to north

....while on the Upper Course, the same minutes ticked away in a smiliar anxious uncertainty. There were Anglicans. There were Fascists. There were Albertines. There were Local Defence Volunteers and Field Forces and Criminal Thugs (masquerading as the Burghill & Tillington Cricket Club). There were Chinese Christian Converts and Rorke's Drift Re-Enactors. Some had brought Big Guns, others Armoured Cars or motorised Anti Tank Rifles. Crucially, as only the fairways and greens counted as "roads" and the tables had acres of free space, nobody had actually thought to bring (the usually useless) cavalry. Nobody had even brought Mounted Infantry, save the wily J and his Spanish Nationalist Monarchist Catholics....
The "Upper Course" (Table Two) looking north to south

A shout of "Fore!", the traditional golfer's warning, and universally misinterpreted. A storm of fire and sudden movement. On the Lower Course, the Herefordshire Police Watch Committee (tasked with defending the critical Central Tee) bemoaned the absence of cover. On the Upper Course, Ben Hogan's Friends of Herefordshire Golf (with a similar defensive task) looked up anxiously as the sky above them suddenly darkened..... In front of the Clubhouse, Sir Alan McGuffin cradled the County Cup and cursed the inevitable imminent destruction of his beautiful course...[to be continued]


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